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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28311987">of life-long secrets and little white lies</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smiley5494/pseuds/Smiley5494'>Smiley5494</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Merthur Week 2020 [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Merlin (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arthur Finds Out About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Background Relationships, Day 5, Day 5: “Any other lies left to tell me?” + Angst, First Kiss, Getting Together, Good Morgana (Merlin), King Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), M/M, Merthur Week 2020, Minor Gwen/Morgana (Merlin), my bandit oc Rhys makes a comeback, rated T for one instance of Arthur swearing, this isn't mentioned but its important to me that you know that</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 15:47:00</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,667</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28311987</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smiley5494/pseuds/Smiley5494</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Day 5: “Any other lies left to tell me?” + Angst</p><hr/><p>Merlin nodded in false agreement and tried to hide the evidence of his heart shattering into pieces.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Merthur Week 2020 [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2067861</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>123</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Merthur Week 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>of life-long secrets and little white lies</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">Rhys wasn’t entirely sure it was a good idea to try to assassinate the king. There was so much that could go wrong, but they were desperate, and the king’s head fetched a pretty penny. Rhys needed the gold, they needed it for their family, for their village—without that gold, the whole village would starve.</p><p class="p1">So they waited and watched. They learnt that the King went on regular hunting trips into the forest, and they learnt that on those trips the king often brought no one but himself and his manservant.</p><p class="p1">It couldn’t be better. If Rhys were to take out the king, then the servant would be easy to subdue, and the bodies would lie there for hours when the knights and councilmen would get nervous and go looking. By then, Rhys would be long gone, and their village would be able to eat come winter.</p><p class="p1">They waited, and when the King and his manservant rode through, Rhys drew back their bow and took aim. The arrow flew true and to Rhys’ horror the servant’s eyes glowed gold and his lips moved to form words the Rhys couldn’t hear. The arrow froze, hovering in the air in front of the king.</p><p class="p1">Rhys turned and bolted, they weren’t being paid to fight sorcerers, and they didn’t want to be killed either—they would find the needed gold elsewhere, somewhere where there were no sorcerers.</p>
<hr/><p class="p1">Merlin had expectations on how his magic would be revealed. He’d dreamt the moment; he’d told himself that it would be on his terms or not at all. Somehow, it was fitting that it would be an accident—he’d reacted on instinct, his mind skipping over the consequences in favour of saving Arthur.</p><p class="p1">Arthur was staring at him in horror, and Merlin dismounted quickly, intending to check on his friend. Instead, he found a sword at his chest, a furious king where he had expected to see a friend.</p><p class="p1"><em>“Arthur.”</em> Merlin’s voice cracked on the name, and his tears fell freely. He fell to his knees, the ground cold and hard, but Arthur’s expression was pure stone.</p><p class="p1">“Why would you learn it?”</p><p class="p1">“I didn’t!”</p><p class="p1">“Bullshit!” Arthur swore, “bullshit, Merlin, <em>I heard you</em>. You said words—spells.”</p><p class="p1">“I had no choice! I was born with it; it was either learn to control it, or let it <em>control me</em>!”</p><p class="p1"><em>“Mer</em>lin,” Arthur shook his head, and disappointment flashed in his eyes—there a second, gone in a heartbeat, “Sorcerers have to study to learn magic. It isn’t a born skill.”</p><p class="p1">“Do you think I wanted this?” Merlin snapped, still kneeling, “To live in fear, to know that if I were to show what I could do you would have me executed? Do you seriously think I learnt it? I would never betray you like that, Arthur, I love you too much to even consider it.”</p><p class="p1">Arthur turned away, his stony expression cracking for an instant before smoothing back over. He made to walk away and leave Merlin kneeling there, but not before he spoke the final words that broke Merlin’s heart; “Any other lies left to tell me?”</p>
<hr/><p class="p1">Arthur didn’t want to see him. As soon as they were back in Camelot, Arthur told him he had a day to finish up everything he had to do and leave. Instead of being executed, he was simply being banished—cleaner and far quieter; no need to involve more witnesses. It would be better for both of them, Arthur claimed, if he just left as though of his own accord.</p><p class="p1">Merlin nodded in false agreement and tried to hide the evidence of his heart shattering into pieces.</p>
<hr/><p class="p1">Arthur both hated and missed Merlin. He’d thought he’d been beginning to finally count the younger as a friend, he’d thought that Merlin was someone he could always count on and trust. He should’ve known that it was too good to be true—he should’ve guessed that Merlin would betray him in the end.</p><p class="p1">“Arthur.” Arthur startled and turned to face his sister; she looked furious, and Arthur could’ve sworn he could physically feel her anger. “What’s this about you banishing Merlin?”</p><p class="p1">“Morgana—”</p><p class="p1">“No, Arthur,” Morgana snapped, eyes flashing, “What’s Merlin ever done to deserve <em>this</em>?”</p><p class="p1">“Morgana, the law is clear, he should technically be executed,” Morgana looked like she was about to interrupt, but Arthur ploughed on anyway, “banishment is mercy. It’s all I can do, Morgana, you’ll just have to live with that.”</p><p class="p1">Arthur stared past her; he’d made his decision, and he wasn’t going to change his mind. Morgana seemed to come to the same conclusion and she sneered at him.</p><p class="p1"><em>“I’ll</em> just have to live with that?” She asked, far calmer than when she had walked in, “I’ll survive, Arthur, but will <em>you?”</em></p><p class="p1">“I wonder,” she opened the door and lingered slightly in the hall, “Arthur Pendragon, can you bring yourself to live without Merlin?”</p><p class="p1">Arthur closed his eyes as if that could block out his sister’s words.</p>
<hr/><p class="p1">It took a total of three minutes for Arthur to get sick of George. The servant meant well, he truly did, but he was so <em>formal</em>. It was stifling, and after a week of sentences ending in <em>Sire</em> and perfect deference, Arthur missed Merlin more than he thought he would—try as he might, he just couldn’t change his love to hate overnight.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>Love.</em>
</p><p class="p1">Arthur had never actually thought about how he felt for Merlin—he’d never had any true friends (Leon didn’t count, they hadn’t been close until the whole round table thing) let alone anything more, and he’d never recognised what Merlin was to him. Well, not until it was too late.</p><p class="p1">The knights of the round table hadn’t spoken to him except in increasingly formal tones since Merlin’s banishment, and every time he entered a room either Morgana or Gwen were in they left without a glance towards him. It left him lonelier than he’d ever felt.</p><p class="p1">Arthur stared at the papers in his hands. Taxes and finance were all well and good for the kingdom, but as a distraction they were hopeless.</p><p class="p1">His eyes instead fell on the last speech Merlin had written. For a peasant, Merlin’s handwriting was surprisingly neat, and he had a way with words that made Arthur jealous. For some reason, Arthur always kept the latest speech on his desk and when he couldn’t focus he reread the words Merlin wrote for him.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>I wonder, Arthur Pendragon, can you live without Merlin?</em>
</p><p class="p1">Morgana’s words echoed in his mind and it was only then that he found the answer.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>No.</em>
</p>
<hr/><p class="p1">“Get up!” Arthur snapped at his sister. The round table stood behind him, bleary-eyed and dead on their feet. Morgana groaned, and beside her, Gwen groaned too. “Get up!—both of you—We’re getting Merlin back!”</p><p class="p1">Morgana sat up sharply, and her gaze fixed on Arthur’s, a predator fixated her prey. It had always been like that, Morgana being smarter, faster, better than Arthur. She knew where to strike to hit a person’s weak points, and she could dig into those points and <em>tear.</em></p><p class="p1">“Finally figured it out, haven’t you, brother dearest?”</p><p class="p1">He nodded; “It’s time for a law change.”</p><p class="p1">“Well then,” she said, and her eyes burned a bright, <em>magical </em>amber, “what are we waiting for?”</p>
<hr/><p class="p1">They found Merlin only an hour’s ride away from Camelot, in a small house that hadn’t been there a week before.</p><p class="p1">Arthur didn’t care to wonder how it was there, nor did he care to think over the way Morgana had led him straight to Merlin’s hideout—never-mind that Merlin clearly hadn’t ever left Camelot, despite his banishment.</p><p class="p1">“Merlin!” Arthur yelled, and Merlin flung open his door with an expression of stubborn fury.</p><p class="p1">“Shut up, Arthur,” Merlin snapped, “I know you’re here, and I know why.”</p><p class="p1">Arthur flushed, but his curiosity was piqued. “How?”</p><p class="p1">“Morgana told me,” Merlin answered, “but I want to hear it from <em>you</em> before I even consider coming back.”</p><p class="p1">Arthur took a few slow steps towards Merlin, and when Merlin didn’t run, he took a few more.</p><p class="p1"><em>“Merlin,” </em>Arthur’s voice broke, and it was so similar to how Merlin had said his name in that last conversation that Arthur felt his heart crack slightly. “Merlin, I’m so sorry.”</p><p class="p1">Merlin stared, his face a blank mask, “Arthur you banished me for something I had no choice in. You broke my heart with that, sorry doesn’t cut it.”</p><p class="p1">“I didn’t understand,” Arthur explained, “I was an idiot and a complete arse, and a—a clotpole. I didn’t understand because I had never been bothered to learn what was possible. I’m repealing the ban on magic, and I’m doing that because I didn’t understand because I didn’t know what I had until I lost it.”</p><p class="p1">Arthur paused for breath, and Merlin let him. “Until I lost <em>you</em>. I realised so much when you were gone, Merlin, I realised how much I love you. How much I need you by my side, even if we stay as friends.”</p><p class="p1">Merlin’s expression melted, and his eyes shone suspiciously. He surged forward, and Arthur wasn’t entirely sure which one of them initiated the soul-searing kiss, but neither backed down.</p><p class="p1">It was everything Arthur had ever dreamt of and <em>more</em>, because in his dreams there had been only nameless strangers, but here he had <em>Merlin</em>. Merlin, who kissed Arthur just as hard as Arthur kissed him. Merlin, who had stuck close to Camelot instead of going back to Ealdor.</p><p class="p1">The kiss sent shivers down his spine, and Arthur could’ve sworn he saw the heavens in Merlin. He loved this man so much, and he would gladly lay down his life, pass the crown over to Morgana if it meant he could spend just one more minute with Merlin.</p><p class="p1">“Will you, Merlin, allow me the pleasure of courting you?”</p><p class="p1">“Yes, Arthur,” Merlin answered, “but only if you <em>try</em> to understand and learn. You have to promise to listen and do your best to make this work.”</p><p class="p1">“I promise.”</p>
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